Dear Diary
by JenJethro143
Summary: Greg does whatever it takes to steal Sara away from Grissom. Slight GSR, mainly Sandles
1. I Love Her

Disclaimer: You're probably well aware, but I don't own 'em & never will

A/N: The other chapters will be longer, this is just a starting point!

May 30, 2006

Dear Diary,

It's been 2 days, 16 hours, 13 minutes, and 47, 48, 49 seconds since she told us.

They're together. Sara is dating Grissom.

Each member of the team reacted differently – Catherine's jaw dropped to the floor, Warrick just stared at them for the longest time, and Nick, well, he was just Nick.

You know, 'Congratulations. Good for you,' that kind of stuff.

As for me, I couldn't look at her. I still can't. For the past 2 days, 16 hours, 15 minutes, and 31 seconds, I've been avoiding Sara Sidle.

See, the thing is, I'm in love with her. More than I've ever been in love with anyone in my entire life. The revelation that she's now dating our boss, well, that shattered my heart into ten million tiny pieces.

God, what am I gonna do? Papa Olaf would have some weird, probably unhelpful, tidbit of information. But I don't think I know how to explain my feelings.

I'm in love with Sara Sidle, and I'm gonna win her heart, no matter what it takes.

XOXO

Greg


	2. The Same Case

Disclaimer: Not mine …

A/N: The parts in italics are like Greg's memory :-)

June 1, 2006

Dear Diary,

It was bound to happen eventually.

Grissom put us on the same case. Just the two of us – no Catherine, no Nick, no Warrick – just Sara and me. It's almost like he knows how I feel and he's putting us together just to punish me.

But, of course, in my rational brain, I know that's not true.

"_Cath, Nick, there's a DB in a gully off the I-15. Greg, Sara, officer involved shooting at the Tangiers. Warrick, you're with me on the Starkey rape case." Grissom casually handed out the assignments for the shift. "Officer involved shooting? What officer?" Sara asked. "Markson. He's new. Let's get going now – Ecklie's on my case about starting too late in the shift or something. Sara, I'll see you later." "Yeah, make sure you don't forget. My apartment, after shift." Sara winked at Grissom._

She winked at him! WINKED! It's bas enough that we had to work the same case, but now I had to have that memory embedded in my brain.

Oh, how I wish I was a lab rat again at moments like this. Then I wouldn't have to deal with being around her the whole day.

"_Greg? Hey. You ok?" Sara asked, seeming genuinely concerned. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine Sara." Not really, but hey, what am I supposed to say? That I love her? Don't think so! "You sure? You seem a little off today Greggo. You know you can talk to me about anything," She smiled that cute gap-toothed smile. I hate when she smiles at me, it makes me love her that much more. "I know, yeah. Really, seriously, I'm totally fine." Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking about how much I despise the fact that you're dating Grissom when you should be with ME!_

Sara Sidle should be with me. Me, not him. Not Grissom! But she isn't with me, and she is with him, and – oh hell, what am I gonna do?

He doesn't love her like I do; I know that for a fact. Damn it! I need to find a way to make her mine before I go crazy.

She probably thinks I already am crazy.

XOXO

Greg


	3. Telling Her

Disclaimer: See chapter 1 & 2

June 4, 2006

Dear Diary,

I think she knows.

Well, I mean, of course she knows; I asked her out years ago. But I think she knows more.

She knows I'm trying to be with her. I can feel it. She's been looking at me differently the past few days, and I can't put my finger on exactly what kind of 'looks' they are.

So, today, I came right out with it. I confronted her about the whole Grissom situation. I don't think it went well …

"_Sara? Hello? You in there?" I ask, wondering if she's thinking about him. "Hmm? Yeah, I'm here. Just … analyzing evidence." She makes sure not to look in my eyes. And what evidence? We wrapped up the case hours ago? "Oh. It looked like you were thinking about something more … intimate." Nice going Greg, you've really done it! "And what exactly do you mean by 'intimate,' Greg Sanders?" She's shooting daggers at me with her eyes. "Never mind. Wait, no, do mind. I've been wanting to talk to you ever since your announcement the other day." I'm finding it hard to look at her now. Oh God, why did I have to start this? "If you have something to say, say it." She sits down on the break room table. "Alright, here goes." I take a deep breath and begin to speak. "When you told us that you and Grissom were a couple, I felt, well, I can't really explain how I felt, but it wasn't good. Anyway, for a few days now, I've been trying to work up the courage to say this. Now, you don't have to respond, but just, please Sara, listen to me. I, um, this is harder than I thought …" "Damn it Greg! Just say it!" "I love you, Sara." I look at her, then down at the floor. She looks like … I don't know. Like she wants to say something, but can't. She opens her mouth to speak, and I just know I'm gonna be shot down. "Greg, I'm sorry. I –" She's quickly cut off by Nick and Warrick entering. "Hey, hey! Greg, Sara. How was your case?" Nick seems pleased about something. Neither one of us answer him though. She looks deep in thought, again. I wish I knew what she was thinking._

So, I did it. I told Sara that I love her. For the rest of the day, she avoided me, like I'm the plague or something.

I want to know what she was going to say. Damn Nick and Warrick and their timing! Damn it all!

Now what do I do? I mean, should I explore the subject more, or should I drop it. Well, knowing Sara, she probably won't let me drop it until everything's out in the open.

And it will be; soon. Very soon.

XOXO

Greg


	4. Kiss Her, Kiss Her

Disclaimers in chapter 1 & 2

June 5, 2006

Dear Diary,

Love. Is. Complicated.

Yes, all those words are their own sentence, that's how complicated it is. And it's about to get even more complicated (if you can believe that).

Grissom put us on the same case, yet again, even though the whole lab now knows about my confession (though I can't figure out if it was Nick or Warrick who told).

Seriously, this man is trying to punish me for loving his girlfriend. Why else would he put us on yet another case together? This is the third time since the announcement that he's done it.

Damn him!

So, the case, well, I don't even remember what it was about, really. All I can remember is the odd glances Sara and I shared.

Beats me if I know what they meant.

_She keeps staring at me – should I look back? Should I keep my eyes on the scene? Gosh, I don't know. She has that 'Sara Look,' as Warrick once put it. Like she's concentrating so hard that her brain's gonna explode. Concentrating – on me. I wish I knew what she was going to say in the break room yesterday, but I guess it'll always be one of those mysteries._

Seriously, I don't even know how long she stared at me. Probably just a few minutes, but it seemed like 50 gosh darned years!

I can't take it! Whenever she looks at me, I melt. My heart beats a little faster than normal, and I just want to kiss her.

I should kiss her.

Just one kiss.

I wonder. How would she react? Would she tell him?

Probably. But I don't care.

The next time I see Sara Sidle, I'm gonna give her a breath-taking kiss she'll never forget!

XOXO

Greg


	5. How Long Have I Waited?

Disclaimers in first 2 chapters

A/N: The majority of this chapter is a 'flashback'

June 7, 2006

Dear Diary,

Ladies and Gentlemen: Greg Sanders has kissed Sara Sidle.

_Break Room 6/6/06_

"_Hey Sara," I say as she walks into the room, not looking up from my less than enjoyable magazine. "Hey Greggo, what's up? What'cha reading?" She questions, seeming genuinely interested in the snooze fest off a magazine that is 'World Forensics Monthly.' "Oh, just this forensics magazine is all. Nothing as interesting as what you're probably 'focused on' right now." Oh darn! I did it again! "Alright Greg, we really need to talk about this. What you said the other day, it can't just disappear." Man, how I wish it could. "I know, I know. But, you know what? It really doesn't mean much does it? You're with Grissom. Where does that leave me? Nowhere." I knew that all along in my heart, I just never thought I'd actually have the balls to say it to her. "Greg, listen to me. That's not true and you know it. You're an amazing man. The best friend I've ever had, most likely. And I don't want you to feel so blue. I hate seeing you like this. Really, I do. Is there anything I can do to help? Anything, you name it." This is my chance. I move closer to her and notice that she seems to be a little … shaky. "Greg? What exactly are you –" I cut her off by pressing my lips against hers. Gosh, she tastes soooo good. And, hey! She's actually kissing me back! Should I take it a step further? Too late, she already has, as I feel her tongue … ohhhhhhh God. She's such an amazing kisser. Not that I expected anything different. I mean, this is Sara Sidle we're talking about here. Suddenly, she breaks away from me. "Oh, gosh. Oh … We shouldn't have done that. I gotta, I gotta go." She rushes out of the break room so fast; I don't even get a chance to speak._

So, there you have it. Our kiss.

I know she enjoyed it. It was obvious. I think she even might have been blushing when she ran out of that room.

All in all, a very amazing and wonderful experience.

But since she avoided me for the rest of the day, (which is becoming a back and forth type of thing with us) I have no idea what will come of it.

I hope its love.

XOXO

Greg


	6. Confusion, Reciprocation & Being Caught

Disclaimers – I still don't own them, sad as it may be.

June 9th 2006

Dear Diary,

She finally confronted me yesterday.

It was the first time she'd spoken to me since our kiss the previous day.

I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life… I had no idea at all what she was gonna say.

She seemed nervous too, though, and, you know, it's better if you're both nervous.

Heh.

_"Hey Greg." She addresses me calmly – almost too calmly. "Hey." I was afraid to say anything more than that, due to the way she makes me feel. I didn't know it was possible to feel this way. "About yesterday, we really have to talk." Does she think I don't know this? "Yeah. I know. Talk then." I look up at her; She seems hurt. Maybe my tone was a little harsh. "Oh. Okay. Look, Greg. Um, wow, this is extremely awkward. Well, I guess I should start by saying that I do have feelings for you. Strong feelings; Real feelings." She looks flushed, and I can literally hear my heart pounding in my chest. "Yesterday, it took me by surprise, you know? You caught me off guard. But, well, that wasn't the way I would've wanted to react in that situation…" What does she mean? "What do you mean Sara?" She stares directly into my eyes. God, she's beautiful. "What do I mean?" And with that, we're kissing again. But this – this is different from yesterday. It's real, perfect. "Greg, Sara. It's –" Oh God, oh God. Busted! By him, no less. "Grissom! Oh my God, this isn't…" She doesn't finish her thought. "No, Sara, don't. Just – it's time to get your assignments. We'll talk later." His emphasis is on the word 'TALK.'_

So, Grissom caught me making out with Sara.

Sara. His girlfriend.

Well, who knows what they are now?

Shit! I ruined everything. I think.

Maybe.

Is it wrong to actually hope that I ruined things between them?

Probably, but I don't think I care.

I want them to be over so I can have my chance with her.

I love her.

I love Sara Sidle more than anything else in this world.

Forever.

XOXO

Greg


	7. As Long As I Have To

Disclaimers are in previous chapters.

June 12, 2006

Dear Diary,

They broke up.

Sara and Grissom broke up.

She denies that it has anything to do with me – us – but I don't know.

Grissom's been looking at me differently.

A part of me is jumping for joy; Sara's free to be with me.

But another part of me is so unsure.

I know she still loves him. She always has.

The sadness in her eyes is so evident since the breakup, and it makes me wonder.

Wonder if maybe I should wait a while to make my move.

Or wait for her to make a move on me.

Yeah. Like that'll happen.

Ha.

I'm just afraid.

Afraid that she'll just use me as her "rebound" guy.

And that's not what I want.

I want her to be with me because she wants to be with me.

Not because she can't be with Grissom.

So, I'll wait as long as I have to for her.

I'll wait my whole life if that's how long it takes.

For Sara Sidle, I would do ANYTHING.

XOXO

Greg


	8. The Love She Deserves

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

June 15, 2006

Dear Diary,

I don't know how much longer I can wait.

I don't wanna be too forceful, and I've said before, I don't wanna feel like a "rebound" guy.

But I want to be with her.

She means the world to me.

And lately, our relationship seems to be entering the "beyond awkward" stage.

"_Hey Sara," I greet her as she walks into the break room. "Hi Greg. What's up?" 'What's up'!? Is she serious? "Not much. I just needed to take a break." I give her a small smile, which she returns. "Yeah, extremely busy shift, isn't it?" My God, do we have to talk about work? "Yeah, among other things," I look away, knowing I've over talked again. "Yeah, well, I better get to the garage. Warrick's got the victim's car and it's ready to be processed, so…" I totally blew it! "Later Sara," I say as I watch her leave the room. "Later Greg," She responds, not even looking back at me._

See what I mean? Awkward!

All we do is talk about work, and whenever I try to change the subject, she almost cowers away from me.

How much does that suck?!

I'm so afraid that our relationship will never be the way it was.

Or the way it should be.

Our friendship is suffering horribly over this.

But everyone knows I've always wanted so much more than just friendship.

And I truly believe that she does too. She's just afraid of getting hurt again.

I want to show her that I would never, ever hurt her. Never!

I love her more than anything else in the universe.

Gosh, I love her more than rock music, surfing, DNA, everything.

I have to let her know somehow, before I lose what may be my only chance.

My chance to love Sara Sidle the way she's always deserved to be loved.

XOXO

Greg


End file.
